By now, if you have read my last blog, you are probably convinced you are in reaction most of the time, with small windows of semi-present sanity. Well, you could be right. We may learn as adults to mask our feelings (most of us anyway) with appropriate behavior and language, but underneath the surface our actions are often directed by a child’s need to unearth past injustices and heal past wrongs by recreating our childhood dance. Teenagers are at least authentic in their reactions; everything is on the surface. As adults, our reactions may be buried under a thick cloak of well-rehearsed and rational theories of life’s ‘truths’. Whether you felt unloved, abandoned, needy or inadequate in some forum (not smart enough, good enough etc), those splintered parts of you will demand justice. This can happen one of two ways:

 

1.You relive your personal drama over and over again hoping to change the outcome, or..

2.You decide to heal from within

 

If you choose door number 2, this blog is for you. 

 

At the end of my last blog I left you with a message:

 

While it may seem preposterous at first glance, this statement is the foundation of true emotional freedom. I know it seems like others make us feel things. While, many of us would have similar responses to certain stimuli, there is a complexity and depth to our emotional response and the internal dialogue that follows which is unique to each one of us. Within that response and dialogue are keys to our own emotional limits and past traumas. Focusing your attention on the outside stimulus is not only a waste of time, but a missed opportunity to heal. If you don’t want to be controlled by outside forces you have to stop pretending that you are. Take each crazy moment and say ““Hmmm. I wonder what’s going on inside of me? What just got triggered?” This is called alchemy. Turning something base into something precious. But, in order to do that, you must stop pretending that your experiences are explainable, or even justified, by what others have done. Your experiences are your experiences. Period. They speak about you, nothing more. If you have a reaction, own it. Stop blame (well, you can blame a little on the inside for fun), stop justifying, and stop trying to get agreement. The more you acknowledge the true source of your feelings, the clearer you will be.

 

 

So, along the same lines, here is another message to ponder:

 

 

Even when it is intended to be. I will pick that up in my next post…

 

Martha Wright is a Life Coach and seminar leader with over 20 years experience designing and teaching life skills in Fortune 500 companies around the world. She lives in Princeton NJ. Follow her on Facebook and twitter. www.wrightlifecoach.com.